walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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