haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
