If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize