just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
