So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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