As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
