can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
pray to the hookup gods
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
