I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
PANTIES FOUND
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
