please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
