Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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