never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
