so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He better not be in your backpack
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
