I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
