i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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