i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And then my night got REAL pukey
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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