I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
