Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
