i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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