he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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