We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
