Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
