im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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