I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
