D3 body, D1 cock
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
