This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize