So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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