It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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