I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize