I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
