yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
