i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
