Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was like getting head from an anaconda
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
