I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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