i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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