i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
