you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
