If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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