yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize