Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
