is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
