I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
