Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
