Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
