I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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