Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
