If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
