also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
