There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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