Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
