third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
