Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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