and you said cock pushups were impossible
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize