I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
