her facebook's as public as her vagina
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
