He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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