I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
