dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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