Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
